Thursday, November 30, 2006

Dear Mama...

Today is my mom's B-Day, so I dedicate this post to her.

When I was younger, I swore I was adopted. I just knew I had to be because I didn't feel I looked like anybody in my family, and especially because my mom and I used to go at it. I was the only girl of 4 children, and perhaps that's what created the friction between the two of us. (Although I've heard many women say they went through a difficult time with their mothers when they were teenagers as well, so perhaps it had nothing to do with me being the only girl.) I felt my mother liked my brothers more than me, and she probably felt I was too much of a Daddy's girl. So there was a period of about 4 years in high school when my mom and I could have gotten along better. Now, don't get me wrong, our relationship was civil, but we both desperately wanted to be closer to each other like mothers and daughers should be. I just felt she couldn't relate to me, and the feelings were probably mutual on her part.

As children there are several stages we go through with regards to how we view our parents. First we think our parents are superstars and can do no wrong. But as we grow older and start to form our own identities, we start to notice the flaws in them. By the time we get to be teennagers, we are just at a loss for words as to why our parents do a majority of the things they do. I felt my parents were old enough to know better than to do certain things they would do, and a lot of times I was disappointed when they would do those things. Somewhere in your 20s, you start to see your parents in a more sensitive light. We start to understand why they may have made the decisions they made when they were younger that shaped them to be who they are today. Due to certain struggles that women tend to face together, like mensturation, finding suitable mates, having children, etc, my mom and I are now closer than ever. The more time I spend with her, the more I understand and appreciate the fact that she's just a human being. She's not perfect, nobody is. She has the same insecurities I have. I'm sure she had dreams as well as I have dreams now that I want to fulfill.

My love tells me I'm so much like my mother, and before I used to deny it or wonder why he would say such a thing. But as I get older and especially with the birth of my lovelies, I can now start to see what he means. Not only are we starting to look more and more alike, but we have so much in common now than we ever did. We even discuss men, marriage, and money. My mom goes through the same issues with my Dad that I go through with my love, and she's able to advise me based on that. I spent the whole day with her today and found myself just reveling in her knowledge. Who would have thunk she had a life of her own before she met my Dad and had children? I guess children don't really view their parents as anything else other than parents. Before she was ever my mother, she was a daughter, a sister, a cousin, a wife, a teacher, a student, etc. All I ever used to see her as was just my mother, but she's so much more. Her humanity simply amazes me, and I love it.

Happy B-Day Mom!!! Many happy returns!!!

A Mother's Love Determines How
A mother's love determines how
We love ourselves and others.
There is no sky we'll ever see
Not lit by that first love.
Stripped of love, the universe
Would drive us mad with pain;
But we are born into a world
That greets our cries with joy.
How much I owe you for the kiss
That told me who I was!
The greatest gift--a love of life--
Lay laughing in your eyes.
Because of you my world still has
The soft grace of your smile;
And every wind of fortune bears
The scent of your caress.
By Turlough O'Carolan

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

What about your friends

One of my favorite shows was Sex and the City. The show was on during the time I was in college, so being broke I had no access to HBO. However, my friends and I would wait till they came on DVD and go to Blockbuster to rent them by the seasons. We would literally stay up all night watching the shows, wishing we could just reach into the TV set to let Carrie know how bad Mr. Big was for her. And can you believe she left Aidan for Big...oh what a silly chick. Anyways, we all wanted to be Carrie, because she was the most fashionable one. But looking back now at the show, I would say I probably favor Miranda the most in terms of the role I play with my group of friends. Then came the show Girlfriends. When this show came out, it really hit home for me because being a black woman, it was great to see reflections of me and my friends on TV. We were used to being portrayed on TV as ghetto, rude, fat, or whatever negative image they want to depict. But on the contrary, the women of Girlfriends were funny, fashionable and fabulous. It was a breath of fresh air. Now I can't talk about famous TV friends without talking about Friends, the show. What can I say, the show was a classic.

I find the concept of friends to be extremely fascinating. If you have 1 or 2 great friends, you'll find that they are great treasures. They are there for us to laugh with, cry with, have fun with, be silly with, etc. More importantly, they are there to help us grow and become better human beings. Studies show that people with freinds tend to live longer, be more successful, and are overrall happier than those without friends. While we all all have numerous acquaintances, most people generally have 1 or 2, and not usually more than 3 or 4 best friends. These are the people that are so close to us, that they've seen us at our best and worst. They are there to act as a shoulder to cry on, a sounding board to bounce ideas off of, or an ear to listen. The significance of this group is that you can completely be yourself without the fear of being judged or condemned. Some people even consider their close friends family members.

I personally am wary of labels, so I've never called just one person my best friend. I have, however, always had a small close network of friends that are dear to my heart. I actually prefer this to just having one person as a close friend. With your group of friends, you have people who make you feel free to dream, which is highly important to me. They celebrate us and make us feel good to be us. Life is hard enough as it is, so it's important to surround ourselves with friends who aren't adding drama to our lives. Good friends aren't jealous of our successes, nor are they happy with our failures. They are our personal cheerleaders and genuinely just want to see us happy. If we can find that special group of people to call great friends, just imagine how much more our lives will be enriched.

Which Girlfriend are you?

I love the dynamics of those great TV friends friendships, and I think this is how most friendships are. In any great group of friends you usually find four personalities: The Nurturer, the Socialite, the Practical One, and the Spoiled/Needy one. Two or more of these personalities may be found in one person, but usually these personalities are evident in close friendships.

The Nurturer (Carrie or Joan): The nurturers are usually the glue that keeps the group together. They are the ones that all the members of the group look to as the one person that they can talk to. They are always available, and more than willing to go the distance for their friends. The group usually congregates are their house. They are good leaders as they are able to relate to people. They have a way of making people feel comfortable with them.

The Practical one (Miranda or Maya Wilkes): I consider myself a Miranda of Sex and the City or Maya Wilkes of Girlfriends. They tend to be strong willed, careear oriented, and somewhat self consumed. They hardly introduce their drama to the group, as they normally figure out their problems within themselves, or with one person within the group, usually the nurturer. However, when they have to discuss their problems with their inner core, they usually consult the Nurturer first. They work best on a one on one basis. They consider themselves to be practical and introspective.

The Needy/Spoiled One (Charlotte or Toni): The Needy one may have a negative connotation to it, but it's not meant to be condenscending. I'm simply using this term for a lack of a better phrase. These are people that are open with their lives and the issues they may be going through. The group may find that they spend a lot of their times discussing their issues. They are important to the group because they give the group a sense of purpose. other members of the group feel needed by these people becasue they are always going to them for advise. They are usually high strong when it comes to their beliefs. Some of them may be naive when it comes to certain social issues. They are so involved in their own lives and what kind of lives they believe they should be living, that they hardly care what other members of the group thinks of them. They are very emotional and sensitive people.

The Social Butterfly(Samantha or Lynn): These people are the crazy one in the group. They are particularly outgoing and fun loving. They are shockingly confident and usually willing to try anything once. The member of the group looks to them to get them into the hottest clubs and know the latest things going on. They can have fun with or without the group. They are true type A personalities.

How true is this to your group of friends? Which one are you? In short, let's cherish the friendships we have.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Charisma 101

Breaking down the "It Factor" Mystique

I was watching a show on TV yesterday when somebody asked the ever-present question in my mind lately..."What is that IT Factor that makes some people stars and the rest gazers?" I found it interesting that the answer that was given was "Charisma". Charisma!?!! What is this Charisma? Is it just another obscure concept like the "It Factor?" I brushed it off for a second as just another convenient, generic answer, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized there could be some validity to Charisma being the "IT Factor" for some people. It's no wonder the world is celebrity crazy. After all, celebrities are notoriously charismatic, hence the reason they're celebrities to begin with. If you can remember, Charisma was the culprit when Kerry was robbed of the Presidency. It perhaps also has something to do with world falling in line anytime Diddy decides he needs a name change. And have you noticed that no matter how much we try, we can't put our fingers on exactly what it is Paris Hilton does for a living, but her bank account keeps getting bigger and bigger. It’s CHARISMA!!! Charisma is a personal appeal that attracts others to you. It's the ability to charm or influence people, while making people feel like they are willing participants. Charisma is the ability to make even the lowest person on the totem pole feel like they're the greatest thing since slice bread. The truth of the matter is all personal will is lost in the presence of a charismatic person. We become their puppets, willing to play along with their hearts’ desires. We follow them blindly, even against our better judgments under normal circumstances. Charisma! It's the reason Oprah talked her way to Billions of Dollars. These people are particularly smarter than your and I, nor are they better looking, but they all have Charisma. So for those of us that weren’t born with the charismatic genes, are we automatically out of the game? Should we save ourselves the heartache and future psychiatric visits for failure to live up to the standards of our evil charismatic counterparts, and just accept defeat? I beg to differ.

There is a concept called “fake it till you make it”. Since they haven't gotten around to bottling charisma yet, I suggest we all fake the funk until it becomes us. It may seem unnatural at first, but actions performed over a long period of time eventually becomes a part of you. So from studying these selfish, evil-doers who are out to claim all the benefits of the world for themselves and continue to get richer, while we look at them with admiration, here are some of the principles I believe are important in order that we too may become charismatic.

  • Be Friendly. This may be the hardest principle to conquer, but the one thing that the world needs more of is friendly people. Friendly people have a way of making peoples days. It’s hard because a lot of time we would rather not be bothered, but giving an extra smile to a stranger and doing your best to remember to wish people happy birthday will get you a long way. I have this one friend who would literally go out of her way to do things for me. My love and I are always skeptical of her, like what is her M.O? But because she’s so friendly, I would do anything and everything she asks of me, just because I know she would do the same for me.
  • Be a good storyteller. At first I was going to put be funny, but there are lots of charismatic people that aren’t particularly funny people. People just happen to laugh at their jokes because like I said, they fall prey to their charm. Oprah for example isn’t really funny, but her audience members eat up everything she dishes out. She is, however, a good story teller. People like to laugh and be entertained. So being a person that’s comfortable telling stories is a great thing. Besides it’s always the person telling the story that the group’s attention is focused on. If they are good, they intrigue people and people want to get to know them better and even be their friends. Why? Because they know they will always be entertained. This one friend of mine is such a good story teller that he had me falling down on the street laughing one day. Come to think of it, what he said wasn’t all that funny, but it was his delivery that was great.
  • Be Outgoing. It’s hard to be charismatic when you’re by yourself. In order to be charismatic, you have to surround yourself with people and be the fun one. After all, who wants to hang out with someone who’s just as boring as they are? Everybody wants that friend that’s the life of the party, and the one that’s always pushing them to do things they wouldn’t normally do. Force yourself to be the outgoing one in your group, and you’ll notice that all of a sudden people want to start hanging out with you and calling to see what you’re doing on the weekends.
  • Be Charming. I suppose charming is almost like a synonym for charismatic, but whatever charming means to you…be that. Men are usually good at being charming, since they’d been practicing the art since they were little boys. They have to be charming in order to get women, so for the most part, it usually comes natural to them, especially when talking to women. Donald Trump is not good looking, but her gets the best looking females because of his charm. He makes women feel like they’d be missing out if they weren’t with him, and taking candy from a baby. Jay-Z is another one who’s a great charmer. Of course these women flocking to them could be as a result of their mega-millions, but you get the point. Being charming just means being pleasant to be around.
  • Be Open. There’s nothing I love more than an open person. People feel they can relate to you and connect with you when you’re open and vulnerable. We all have insecurities as people, and it is these insecurities that keep us from nurturing each other and relating to one another. Being open makes people feel like they can let their guards down around. We all need to take a break from playing the game sometimes. The fa├žade wears on our soul and makes us so guarded, but it’s a breath of fresh air, when we can just chill and take the masks off. People will feel like they can go to you for advice about what’s going on in their lives without being judged or condemned. Think Oprah and Kelly Rippa. The reason they’re so loved is because they’re so open. We’ve seen and heard Oprah cry about being Raped and fat. You can’t get much more open than that.
  • Be Beautiful. Why?...Hey, why not? You’ll get further being beautiful than if you aren’t. I personally have this one down, so I’ll devote my time to working on the rest. (I can feel all the eyes rolling, but don’t hate…: ))

So my dears…I think we’re well on our way with getting our charisma on, and consequently flying our “It Factor” flag high. Good luck as you continue your search of the fabulous life you deserve.

Some books to reference on charisma are:
1. Charisma: Seven Keys to Developing the Magnetism that Leads to Success by Tony Alessandra
The New Secrets of Charisma : How to Discover and Unleash your Hidden Powers by Doe Lang
Charisma: How to Get That Special Magic by Marcia Grad

Monday, November 27, 2006

Happy Belated Thanksgiving

I haven't posted in a while because my thanksgiving weekend was packed full of activities. I'll be uploading pictures later, but I had a great time. There's plenty to be thankful for. I hope you all enjoyed your thanksgiving as well. Here's to an even better next year. Take care of yourselves.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Nigerian Bloggers...U soooo Crrrraaaaaazyyy

I spent most of the day today reading other peoples blogs, particularly those of my Nigerian peeps. Clearly I missed the memo when the blogging revolution took place last year, because most of these blogs were atleast a year old. (Note to self: never think you're too big or cool to partake in anything, as to you may miss out on the opportunity to grou and become more connected to the world around you. I guess better late than never).
The topics of these blogs range from fashion, to politics, to afrocentricity, to travel. People are really living out there. At this point, I'm starting to wonder if I'm the only one in the world in search of my "It Factor", as some of these people seem to have already found it and taking full advantage of it. Some of the more memorable blogs I ran into are "The World According to Adaure", "Bella Naija", and "Kisses and Roses". These bloggers have a firm grip on the art of blogging, and a lot of them even comment on each others blogs. Their work is so prolific that the one question that kept running through my mind was "How do they find the time?!?!?!" There's even a site, Nigerian Bloggers, where one can go to link his/her blog to for others to see. (I'm still trying to figure out how to get my blog on this site, so if anyone knows, please holla at your girl).
So my fellow Nigerians, in case you ever doubted, let me assure you that our people are talented, creative, smart, witty, and just down right silly. I have enjoyed myself thouroughly today. You make me feel proud to be Nigerian. My hope is that my words will entertain and inspire someone too, like these veteran bloggers have inspired me today. Thank You for being you!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Who Knows You?...The Art of Schmoozing

“It's not what you know or who you know, but who knows you.” Susan RoAne.

When I started this blog last week, I envisioned visitors coming to the site to get information on how to take their lives to the next level. So, here's my first delve into practical things we can all do to get that "It Factor". The topic is Networking...meeting the right people. The saying is "it's not what you know, but who you know", however Susan RoAne took it up a notch by saying it's all about who knows you...which is so true. The truth is we can collect cards all day long and pack our rolodex full of random information on people we barely know, but if we were to call on any of these people at any given time, would they be willing to work with you on that project you were thinking about. When big deals are being discussed, and one more person is needed to complete the cipher, are you the one whose name is being thought about to bring in. If not, then we need to learn how to be that person.

Guy Kawasaki is a well known entrepreneur who's written many books surrounding the topic of entreprenuership. His personal mantra is to "Empower Entrepreneurs" and he does this through his blog, his numerous presentations around the nation, and his books. Here's a list of the top 9 things Guy thinks are important to know in order to be a good schmoozer.

  1. Understand the goal. Darcy Rezac in his book, The Frog and the Prince, wrote the world's best definition of schmoozing: “Discovering what you can do for someone else.” Herein lies eighty percent of the battle: great schmoozers want to know what they can do for you, not what the you can do for them. If you understand this, the rest is just mechanics.

  2. Get out. Schmoozing is an analog, contact sport. You can't do it alone from your office on the phone or via a computer. You may hate them but force yourself to go to tradeshows, conventions, and seminars. It's unlikely that you'll be closing a big order with someone you met online at MySpace or via Skype. Get out there and press flesh.

  3. Ask good questions, then shut up. The mark of a good conversationalist is not that you can talk a lot. The mark is that you can get others to talk a lot. Thus, good schmoozers are good listeners, not good talkers. Ask softball questions like, “What do you do?” “Where are you from?” “What brings you to this event?” Then listen. Ironically, you'll be remembered as an interesting person.

  4. Unveil your passions. Only talking about business is boring. Good schmoozers unveil their passions after they get to know you. Great schmoozers lead off with their passions. Your passions make you an interesting person--you'll stick out because you're the only person not talking about 802.11 chipsets at the wireless conference. Personally, my passions are children, Macintosh, Breitling watches, digital photography, and hockey if you ever meet me.

  5. Read voraciously. In order to be a good schmoozer, you need to read voraciously--and not just the EE Times, PC Magazine, and the Wall Street Journal. You need a broad base of knowledge so that you can access a vast array of information during conversations. Even if you are a pathetic passionless person, you can at least be a well-read one who can talk about a variety of topics.

  6. Follow up. Over the course of my career, I've given away thousands of business cards. At one point, I thought I was nuts because if all those people called or emailed me, I'd never get anything done. Funny thing: hardly anyone ever follows up. Frankly, I don't know why people bother asking for a business card if they're not going to follow up. Great schmoozers follow up within twenty-four hours--just a short email will do: “Nice to meet you. I hope we can do something together. Hope your blog is doing well. I loved your Breitling watch. I have two tickets to the Stanley Cup Finals if you want to attend.” Include at least one thing to show the recipient that she isn't getting a canned email.

  7. Make it easy to get in touch. Many people who want to be great schmoozers, ironically, don't make it easy to get in touch with them. They don't carry business cards, or their business cards don't have phone numbers and email addresses. Even if they provide this information, it's in grey six-point type. This is great if you're schmoozing teenagers, but if you want old, rich, famous, and powerful people to call or email, you'd better use a twelve-point font.

  8. Give favors. One of my great pleasures in life is helping other people; I believe there's a big Karmic scoreboard in the sky. God is keeping track of the good that you do, and She is particularly pleased when you give favors without the expectation of return from the recipient. The scoreboard always pays back. You can also guess that I strongly believe in returning favors for people who have helped you.

  9. Ask for the return of favors. Good schmoozers give favors. Good schmoozers also return favors. However, great schmoozers ask for the return of favors. You may find this puzzling: Isn't it better to keep someone indebted to you? The answer is no, and this is because keeping someone indebted to you puts undue pressure on your relationship. Any decent person feels guilty and indebted. By asking for, and receiving, a return favor, you clear the decks, relieve the pressure, and set up for a whole new round of give and take. After a few rounds of give and take, you're best friends, and you have mastered the art of schmoozing.

Aren't those great tips. The one tip I'm definitely going to incorporate right away is a voracious reader. Books are great inspirational tools and guides. They can help to keep you fired up and excited about what your goals are, even when the people around you are saying "it can't be done". I'm going to incoporate this into the blog by having a book of the month, and encouraging you all to join me. We'll start in December.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Always have spare batteries

A round of applause for me please in congratulating myself for my first gig. "YEEEEEEEEE" Thank you, thank you, thank you. Of course, I'm talking about the MonifC fashion show "Curvy Girls Night Out" in NYC this past Friday. So how was it? FA-BU-LOUS!!! Our night out on the town, the weather, the show...oh...couldn't have asked for more. Here's a brief background on MonifC before I jump into how it went down on Friday, and why my new motto to life now is "always have spare batteries."

All in the Family
Monif Clarke is the "unapologetic" one-half of the designer team of the high fashion, plus size women's clothing line, MonifC. The other half being her mother, Elaine Clarke. Monif C. was "conceived to reaffirm every woman's desire for an inspired life, luxury, and unadulterated sex appeal".
A love of color, prints, and vintage details has been a part of Monif's life from childhood. A child of Barbadian immigrants, Monif spent many summers enjoying the sweet life in Barbados. While there, she was awed by her grandmother's love of color (red is her favorite!) and she was transported to a time when women dressed up for every occasion recognizing that taking pride in their appearance is one of the best things they could do for themselves.
Today as a plus size woman, Monif understands the need for a new perspective in the plus size market. "It took me many years to appreciate my curves and recognize them as a plus and NOT a minus. I know that there are women like me who recognize that we get dressed everyday in the hopes of reflecting creatively what we bring to the world. I was tired of buying the standard uniform that every woman has, I needed luxurious feminine clothes that make a statement...Who says plus size can't be sexy, luxurious, and feminine??"
Monif C . offers a fresh and unique interpretation of well-priced style for plus size women. Monif C. is fabulous fun in luxurious fabrics, delicate trims, and details often developed from original artwork. When you wear Monif C., you reclaim your femininity and your strong sense of self.

My Girls Night Out

I was looking forward to this fashion show since Monif contacted me letting me know she added my name to the Press list. I was actually considering going out to get a new outfit to wear, but at the last minute decided against it. So, after I got off work, like the serious editor I am, I packed all my editorial equipments...a camcorder, a camera, notepad, pen, and the questions I was planning on asking (compiled with the help of my friend, Nimma). So, Nimma and I got there, and of course, some drama started to unfold as I got off the train that threatened my prescence at the show, but I strategically made some moves to avoid it. On to the show. Nimma and I were ready. She was going to take the still shots with the digital camera, and I was going to be on the camcorder. The show started a 1hour late, but when when it finally started, we were ready. I jumped off out of my seat and in position to capture all the riveting moments of the show. Next thing I know, the scene is blank. Can't you believe the batteries to the camcorder DIED. My heart sank for a moment, but I took comfort in the fact that Nimma still had the digital camera and we were still going to be able to capture some footage. I went back to my seat, got the camera from Nimms, and 3 shots later, my screen went blank again. The batteries ran out on the digital camera. Not only was I upset now, but I felt completely ridiculous. How could I have not have brought extra batteries? Well, with nothing else to caption the moment, I decided it was best for me to enjoy the show and learn a lesson from this situation...never leave home with spare batteries again. The show was flawless, the models were "fierce", and the clothes were a hit. Nimma and I ended up leaving early, but it was a memorable night. I try to get some pictures from Monif's website when they come out and post them for you all to see. Take a lesson from my mistake, and make sure to always have backup anything. Good night.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Ask, and you shall receive

“Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened unto you.” This is sooooo true, not only with regards to God, but also when it comes to asking people for things. Am I the only one who's ever talked herself out of asking someone for something because of the fear of rejection or the fact that the person may think I was ridiculous for even asking? I know a lot of people can feel me on that on. But rest assured that the old me has been stiffled and replaced with a fearless Bola who's in search of a fabulous life, and quite frankly will not let anything get in her way of finding it. The reality is the only way to get what you want is first by asking for it, no matter what that thing is. So, as you know I asked a fashion designer for an interview yesterday and the opportunity for me to attend her upcoming fashion show in order to cover it. I'm not the NY times, the Post Gazatte, nor Essence magazine, so what would she have to gain by granting me an interview? Nothing. Despite this fact, I reached out to her, and she not only granted me the interview, but in a timely manner!!!! I emailed her at about 3PM yesterday, and a response was in my inbox by 8am this morning. How cool is that!!!

So the show is tomorrow in the city. I'm kinda nervous about it, but I've heard people say nervous energy is good energy, so I'm not worried. I've never conducted an interview before, I've never covered an event before, and I've never been to a real fashion show before, but whatever. The real question is what to wear, what to wear, what to wear??!?!?! I have to try to look professional, but stylish. I know for a fact that I don't have anything like that in my closet, so I may have to hit the mall later on today. Well, off to get ready for the show and interview. I'll let you all know about it when I get back from the show tomorrow. Ta-taa!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Whew...made my first move

Yippee for me!!! I made a couple of first moves today towards the goal of going after the fabulous life I want. The first, I finally told my love about my blogging initiative. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but believe was a major step for me. At first, I wasn't going to tell him because I happen to be a very private person, so it's a scary thing to have my thoughts out there for the world to see. I didn't want to tell him because I was afraid he would tell other people, who would in turn tell other people, and thereby leaving me vulnerable for criticism. But in challenging myself, I figured it was probably best for me to start telling people because what good is a blog, if there's no one around to read it. It's like the old adage, "if a tree falls in the woods with no one around to see or hear it, did it really fall?" I think it goes something like that, but whatever. My point is the whole point of me taking on this initiative of blogging is to challenge myself to take my life to the next level. In order to do that, I'm going to have to open my self up, take on new adventures, and be fine with criticism. So, I told him, and suprisingly, he didn't make me feel ridiculous. As a matter of fact, he had very little to say about it, which is somewhat curious, but atleast he didn't make me feel stupid for doing it. I also told my friend Nimms about it. I'll be sending her the link soon, so I'm looking forward to hearing her feelings about it.
Also, I reached out to someone who I feel is on the move and setting herself up to be the next IT person in the plus size fashion industry today. I had contacted her a couple of months ago when I was getting the prototype to my magazine together for an interview, and she said she would be wiling to have me interview her. The truth is there are lots of young people who are interested in starting their own clothing line, so I figured she would be a great person to feature. Although I'm holding off on that prototype for now, I still would like to interview her. I figure this site would be a good place to start to feature people who are doing their thang, that way, if and when I ever do get ready for that magazine, I would already have something to work with. She's actually based here in NJ, about 10 minutes away from me. To say I'm in aw of her would be an understatement. She's 27 years old, started her company less than a year ago, and already she's been featured in over 20 magazines, been featured on BET, etc. She's just amazing from what I can tell. She's supposed to be having a fashion show on Friday, which I hope to attend, if she grants me the interview. I'm looking forward to getting a positive response back from her. Wish me luck.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


Welcome to my very first blog. I have to admit that if one had said to me even 1 week ago, that I'd be one of the countless number of people on the internet who are blogging, I'd say you were lying. But you know what, you can't just do nothing. In life, you either play the game, or you lose by defaut. It doesn't matter the reasons for you not being able to play. You can make all the excuses, but the sad truth lose. So here's the story, a couple of months ago, my future sister in law, Cassandra, and I decided we were going to start a magazine. The magazine was meant to be a guide for people who are trying to make it in any and all professions to get an inside look into the what it takes to make it.The magazine would highlight different professions and showcase people in that profession who are on the cusp of making it. The reason this magazine would be unique would be because the people who are highlight would be able to break it down step by step for our readers what's needed. So many times, we ask people who've made it what they did to get where they are, and their answers are usually something generic like "just keep trying" or "just keep praying". That's cool and all, but it doesn't really say much, especially if you've been trying and been praying. Our magazine was going to be something really helpful to the people. So, right away, I got going. I registered the business, started putting a business plan together, and set up meetings with people to advise us in the process of starting a magaine. From our meetings, I realized that we were going to end up needing a lot more money than we had at the moment, so once again, I decided to perhaps just forget about the magazine for now, and try to put some money together. The problem with this is that since I got out of college (5 years AGO!!!), there's always been one reason or the other why I'm not able to pursue a particular business or project I was thinking about. I think this happens to most people. You wanna do something big, you have it all planned out in your mind, but for some reason, you just can't bring yourself to do it. But on this fateful day, as usual, bored with work, I was online just looking up poeple who are going after their dreams regardless of the obstacles. These people are not any smarter than you and I. The only difference is they know, you can't just do nothing, because then automatically you lose. So they go for it, some of them soar, some of them fall and then get back up and try again, but all of them try. So that's my new motto. I'm going to start going for it, whatever it is, and sit by the sidelines no more!!! Since I don't have the money yet to put out my magazine, I'm going to start working on it in whatever capacity I can, and start out with a web magazine. I know it's going to be hard, and the truth is the odds are against me, but what if I do make it. Then life as I know it will change for the better. Moral of the story, go for it, and just don't do nothing. Do something and even if you fail, then atleast you tried.