Wednesday, November 29, 2006

What about your friends

One of my favorite shows was Sex and the City. The show was on during the time I was in college, so being broke I had no access to HBO. However, my friends and I would wait till they came on DVD and go to Blockbuster to rent them by the seasons. We would literally stay up all night watching the shows, wishing we could just reach into the TV set to let Carrie know how bad Mr. Big was for her. And can you believe she left Aidan for Big...oh what a silly chick. Anyways, we all wanted to be Carrie, because she was the most fashionable one. But looking back now at the show, I would say I probably favor Miranda the most in terms of the role I play with my group of friends. Then came the show Girlfriends. When this show came out, it really hit home for me because being a black woman, it was great to see reflections of me and my friends on TV. We were used to being portrayed on TV as ghetto, rude, fat, or whatever negative image they want to depict. But on the contrary, the women of Girlfriends were funny, fashionable and fabulous. It was a breath of fresh air. Now I can't talk about famous TV friends without talking about Friends, the show. What can I say, the show was a classic.

I find the concept of friends to be extremely fascinating. If you have 1 or 2 great friends, you'll find that they are great treasures. They are there for us to laugh with, cry with, have fun with, be silly with, etc. More importantly, they are there to help us grow and become better human beings. Studies show that people with freinds tend to live longer, be more successful, and are overrall happier than those without friends. While we all all have numerous acquaintances, most people generally have 1 or 2, and not usually more than 3 or 4 best friends. These are the people that are so close to us, that they've seen us at our best and worst. They are there to act as a shoulder to cry on, a sounding board to bounce ideas off of, or an ear to listen. The significance of this group is that you can completely be yourself without the fear of being judged or condemned. Some people even consider their close friends family members.

I personally am wary of labels, so I've never called just one person my best friend. I have, however, always had a small close network of friends that are dear to my heart. I actually prefer this to just having one person as a close friend. With your group of friends, you have people who make you feel free to dream, which is highly important to me. They celebrate us and make us feel good to be us. Life is hard enough as it is, so it's important to surround ourselves with friends who aren't adding drama to our lives. Good friends aren't jealous of our successes, nor are they happy with our failures. They are our personal cheerleaders and genuinely just want to see us happy. If we can find that special group of people to call great friends, just imagine how much more our lives will be enriched.

Which Girlfriend are you?

I love the dynamics of those great TV friends friendships, and I think this is how most friendships are. In any great group of friends you usually find four personalities: The Nurturer, the Socialite, the Practical One, and the Spoiled/Needy one. Two or more of these personalities may be found in one person, but usually these personalities are evident in close friendships.

The Nurturer (Carrie or Joan): The nurturers are usually the glue that keeps the group together. They are the ones that all the members of the group look to as the one person that they can talk to. They are always available, and more than willing to go the distance for their friends. The group usually congregates are their house. They are good leaders as they are able to relate to people. They have a way of making people feel comfortable with them.

The Practical one (Miranda or Maya Wilkes): I consider myself a Miranda of Sex and the City or Maya Wilkes of Girlfriends. They tend to be strong willed, careear oriented, and somewhat self consumed. They hardly introduce their drama to the group, as they normally figure out their problems within themselves, or with one person within the group, usually the nurturer. However, when they have to discuss their problems with their inner core, they usually consult the Nurturer first. They work best on a one on one basis. They consider themselves to be practical and introspective.

The Needy/Spoiled One (Charlotte or Toni): The Needy one may have a negative connotation to it, but it's not meant to be condenscending. I'm simply using this term for a lack of a better phrase. These are people that are open with their lives and the issues they may be going through. The group may find that they spend a lot of their times discussing their issues. They are important to the group because they give the group a sense of purpose. other members of the group feel needed by these people becasue they are always going to them for advise. They are usually high strong when it comes to their beliefs. Some of them may be naive when it comes to certain social issues. They are so involved in their own lives and what kind of lives they believe they should be living, that they hardly care what other members of the group thinks of them. They are very emotional and sensitive people.

The Social Butterfly(Samantha or Lynn): These people are the crazy one in the group. They are particularly outgoing and fun loving. They are shockingly confident and usually willing to try anything once. The member of the group looks to them to get them into the hottest clubs and know the latest things going on. They can have fun with or without the group. They are true type A personalities.

How true is this to your group of friends? Which one are you? In short, let's cherish the friendships we have.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is a topic to which I'm sure, anyone can relate. We've all had, have, will have, want, or need friends. I agree with the point you made about the great value of friendships on a person's life. During my college days my friends and I studied, hung-out, shopped, and of course partied together. We were one another's life line in getting through the college experience. Post college, unfortunately distance has put a strain on the friendships I had. The people I once called friends I now view as mainly associates. They are not people I feel I need in my everyday life as I once did while I was in college, and I'm sure that feeling is mutual. Now-a-days I have more responsibilities and take life more seriously. I look to my family members for friendships. My mother is a friend now, though I would have never imagined that could have ever been possible. I look to church members for friendships. Now I look to people who will have positive influence on my choices in life, and don't worry too much about where the latest party will be, even though that's still important.

Bola said...

Cass A!

You and 'Ma Tiwa' are my 2 faithful readers. Since it's only you 2, I wonder if I should just pick up the phone and let you know what's on my mind as opposed to posting it :). Anyways I know exactly how you feel with regards to not being as close as you once were to your friends in college. I agree that the friendships we form now should be ones that are going to positively affect our lives and take it to the next level. It's hard to find those true friends outside the college setting, since we all have different jobs, relationships, responsibilites, etc. But if and when we do, they do change our lives for the better. Thank God I don't have to worry about it, since I have you as my Best Friend. By the way, why don't you call your best friend more often? I guess my feelings are unrequited :-(